Thursday 31 May 2012

Home Thoughts, From Abroad



This made me smile today. I have always had a penchant for pseudo-deep 1970s schmaltz (I could rave on for hours about Peter Sarstedt: I am a Cathedral in My Mind; My Father is the Pope you Know; etc) and can't believe I hadn't heard about Clifford T. Ward before.

He was a British singer-songwriter, big in the sixties and seventies (and onetime teacher of Trudie Styler - a lot to answer for). One of his most successful albums was Home Thoughts, with Home Thoughts from Abroad its title track. You can listen to it here (and I would suggest you do).

The lyrics alone make the song seem saccharine, and don't bear much interpretation (see below), but the song itself is sweet and heartfelt, catchy without being cheesy - and, above all, very very earnest. It equates lovesickness with homesickness, in a way we can all recognise, and the mention of Browning, Keats and Shelley lends it a very English charm (though perhaps not gravitas):

I could be a millionaire if I had the money
I could own a mansion, no I don't think I'd like that
But I might write a song that makes you laugh, now that would be funny
And you could tell your friends in England you'd like that
But now I've chosen aeroplanes and boats to come between us
And a line or two on paper wouldn't go amiss
How is Worcestershire? Is it still the same between us?
Do you still use television to send you fast asleep?
Can you last another week? Does the cistern still leak?
Or have you found a man to mend it?
Oh, and by the way, how's your broken heart?
Is that mended too? I miss you
I miss you, I really do.

I've been reading Browning, Keats and William Wordsworth
And they all seem to be saying the same thing for me
Well I like the words they use, and I like the way they use them
You know, Home Thoughts From Abroad is such a beautiful poem
And I know how Robert Browning must have felt
'Cause I'm feeling the same way about you
Wondering what you're doing and if you need some help
Do I still occupy your mind? Am I being so unkind?
Do you find it very lonely, or have you found someone to laugh with?
Oh, and by the way, are you laughing now?
'Cause I'm not, I miss you
I miss you, I really do.

I fell for it the first time I heard it and I knew I really loved it when I heard the catch in Ward's throat at the thought of "aeroplanes and boats" coming "between us"... For some reason the mention of Worcestershire, and the general theme, make me think of Armistead Maupin's character from Tales of the City, Mona Ramsey - after the first few books doesn't she end up as a San Francsico émigré, somewhere in deepest, darkest Englandshire, probably with a faulty cistern, and with many aeroplanes and boats between her and Barbary Lane?

Monday 7 May 2012

Remember Jason Donovan; or, How the SNP embraces homophobia


You may not have heard of Kenneth Gunn - indeed, you most likely have not heard of Kenneth Gunn. I had forgotten I had heard of him until yesterday, driving home through the Yarrow valley, in the aftermath of last week's local elections, we saw a fluorescent SNP placard in a farmhouse front garden; along with the SNP symbol (I have never known what it is meant to represent - a ribbon?) it bore the injunction, "Gunn". I asked my Borders-based friend if this was the same Kenneth Gunn I had come across a few years ago (he and his wife have done some very impressive charity work). It was indeed.

My Borders friend then made a passing comment to some past Selkirk scandal involving Kenneth Gunn and homophobic comments he had made. This immediately made me curious, and led me to this Southern Reporter piece from August 2009. It transpires that during a BBC Radio Scotland phone-in (about an interactive Glasgow exhibition which invited participants to write in and on the Bible, in an effort to 'write in' to it those who have traditionally been 'written out'), Kenneth Gunn got a little homophobia-happy and was slightly too open about his opinion of "so-called gays" (love that phrase) and atheists:

"Just look where this country has gone over the last 40 or 50 years. When we all went to church on a Sunday morning and we all prayed to the Lord Jesus Christ every Sunday morning, this was a much better country. Look where it is going now. We have got so-called gays who are really very sad people and we have non-believers and heathens, you know, running the country and running down Christianity."

The full transcript can be found in the Southern Reporter - if you read it, you will see that it is not the most vitriolic of homophobic religious rants that we have been subjected to over the last few years. Indeed, it is not the language or subject-matter of Gunn's tirade that I find interesting; what I find interesting is the reaction, or lack of it from the SNP.

There was absolutely no action from the SNP, other than to state that the "comments are a personal matter" and to ask Gunn to apologise that his comments had caused "offence". Other than that, Gunn has continued to represent the SNP, and to stand as their candidate at a number of elections. This sends a very clear message that the SNP not only tolerate homophobia, but are happy to be associated with it (rather like the issue of their refusal to condemn or even seriously engage with the sectarian violence associated with Scottish football, they are afraid to alienate what they see as their key electorate. What happened to politicians with ideals who wanted to make the world a better place: Wilberforce, etc. I know I sound naive, but seriously, this is low - exploiting homophobia, sectarianism, etc. in order to maintain support).

I couldn't help but be reminded of another homophobic incident involving another SNP-er - this time an MSP: Alasdair Allan. Allan is the MSP for the Western Isles (and - incidentallty - originates from Kenneth Gunn's own stomping ground) and, in 2008, was accused (by a political enemy) of "walking hand-in-hand" with "his boyfriend [...] enjoying the beautiful weather" (It was also suggested that this show of decadent perversion took place on a Sunday - not being an inhabitant of the Western Isles, I'm not sure whether breaking the Sabbath is more or less sinful than sodomy).